We have different experiences and personalities but human needs, they’re kind of the same.
5 Basic Needs – Maslows Hierarchy
This guy Maslow researched what makes us tick and what makes us happy. He came up with the idea that people have 5 basic needs and you can picture them like a pyramid. At the base is our foundation, the things we need to survive. Like having food, water and a safe home. Once we have these things, we are more able to strive for the needs higher up the pyramid. Like feeling love, a sense of belonging, self esteem and wanting to grow. You know, like being the best that we can be.
The 5 Love Languages
And who hasn’t thought about love, or lack of it? The 5 love languages is the idea that people have different experiences of what makes them feel loved and different ways of showing love. Like, when someone says something nice to you, when they make a point of doing something with you or for you, when you get a gift, or when you have physical affection. Maybe they all make you feel good, but the likelihood is that one or two of those will rate higher than others.
For instance, I don’t care hugely for gifts. In fact, I am more likely to feel bad that people have spent money on me. However, I have friends who just love to give gifts, the thought that goes into them is their way of showing they care. So you can bet that when they get one they also feel really good, appreciated, loved. So unfortunately, those same gift loving friends of mine have probably felt mostly disappointment or rejection from my lackluster efforts to reciprocate.
Christmas last year, I told my son that for my present I would like him to walk with me up the hill that looks out over our city. For me, quality time with people I care about is the best ever! That and doing things for them, and them for me. When my son clears the muddy leaves from the gutters. That’s when I know I’m loved! And you bet I will show my appreciation with some baking. I mean, what better way to say I care, than with a salted caramel carrot cake! For me that works.
So what makes you tick?
Are you working hard building a secure foundation, or exploring the world as you climb to the top of the pyramid? What do you need right now? What would you like to do?
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